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January 24, 2012 / Rae Spencer

The Woods

The woods of my youth grew complete with creek and wildlife. I knew every nest, den, and footprint. In summer briars, snakes, and mosquitoes swarmed into the woods. In winter they retreated, surrendering a fey, brittle place where I got lost for hours without ever getting lost. Escorted by a pack of dogs, sometimes by the bravest of our cats, I chased over and around and through the creek, straggling home at dusk muddy and matted with burrs.

In early spring lamprey came to spawn. I gloated over the lamprey, certain they lived nowhere else of consequence. Each March I knelt for hours beside the shallows where they dug their nests. I counted them and marveled at their spots and stripes. I cupped my hands under them and watched them wiggle free over my fingers.

I’m sure I did other things, had other habits and hobbies. But my memory is overgrown, buried in underbrush and fallen leaves, forever snarled in the woods. Should I return now, I don’t believe I’d find my woods. Only a few acres of trees and a little stream.

So where does my nostalgia lead? Not back into the woods. But spending time with these pictures feels like an invaluable luxury in my busy world of adult anxieties.

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I wrote this piece a few years ago. I’m reposting it now because these pictures have been calling to me. They are more than shadow and light, more than pixels. They rustle like leaves and smell like wet, happy dogs. (All four dogs are long passed and well grieved.) I can almost taste the crisp air from that misty day in 1992, a rare elixir of youth and solitude and happiness. Perhaps, despite my earlier claim, this nostalgia DOES lead back into the woods.

2 Comments

  1. kathrynmartins1 / Feb 3 2012 12:45 PM

    “A rare elixir of youth and solitude and happiness.” I know what you mean, and when it comes it comes without reason or notice, stays as long as it likes; and however long the clock claims, it feels like a kind of forever. Your dogs were lovely, and they do look so happy out there. I have always found it possible to enjoy solitude in the company of dogs…Still waiting to do so with those of my own species 🙂

    • Rae Spencer / Feb 3 2012 4:57 PM

      I love how you say, “…when it comes it comes without reason or notice…” Exactly! Those days in the woods were some of the happiest I’ve known. The dogs seemed like physical manifestations of joy, and somehow these pictures captured them in that light. Or maybe the pictures just help me remember.

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